Social Networks

A couple of years ago, a woman who was part of a community I managed took it to heart every time someone stopped following her on Twitter. She monitored her account very closely and each morning ceremoniously announced with a “Buh Bye!” all the people who unfriended her the day before.  Though I would probably be hurt if a close friend or someone I built a relationship with over the past year dropped me from a friends list, I also understand why people who don’t really know me decide not to follow me.  It could be because we don’t agree in many areas or that I Tweet too much. I know that it’s not personal and I don’t take it that way. That’s why I don’t understand the practice of publicly shaming unfollowers.

Mass Unfollow

A few months ago I was going through my Facebook friends and realized I didn’t know half the people who I allowed to view my profile. Unlike Twitter, the people who have access to my status on Facebook have access to much of my personal life including pictures of my family, local events, and conversations with intimate friends, family and neighbors. I decided it was time to rethink my Facebook strategy and  edited the list to only include family, friends and a few social media people who I enjoy. I created pages for my former freelance writing blog and Kommein so that those wishing to receive updates or keep track from a business standpoint could do so while allowing me to have a private life.

I also did a mass unfollow on Twitter over the weekend. Again it was nothing personal. Many of the people I unfollowed didn’t even follow me in return, but it wasn’t even about reciprocity. Some people hadn’t updated in over a year, some people are too negative, some just want drama and controversy, and some people I just don’t know or agree with. I followed plenty of people on the recommendation of others, or automatically because they followed me first and we just didn’t jibe. It’s not a personal thing at all. People move on. I’m not into cliques and exclusive clubs but neither do I believe we have to be friend’s with people we don’t necessarily get along with.

Oh For Goodness Sakes…

So I was kind of surprised when I saw this Tweet this morning:

I recently lost a follower, and thanks to http://who.unfollowed.me I know it was @debng #whounfollowedme

This is one of the more polite Twitter unfollow messages I’ve come across. Some are rude and I’ve even seen fights break out. I’m not sure I see the logic in shaming the people who don’t follow us. People drift apart. Relationships don’t always last. I get it if it’s someone we care about, and in that case I might contact the other party to see if I can repair the relationship. But a total stranger? What’s up with that?

Darn It, It’s Nothing Personal

Now, I understand being curious about people who unfollow, but I don’t understand why the public shame announcement? I liken it to a party. When we’re at a party we talk to different people. Some people we get along with very well and others…not so much. We may take phone numbers and email addresses for the people who shared common interests and goals, but the people who we don’t quite see eye to eye, we mostly likely won’t pursue a relationship.

If you’re going to be active with lots of friends and followers, you’ll have to consider that people will unfollow you on a daily basis. Most of the time it’s because they realize they have nothing in common or that you don’t share the same philosophy. If you wouldn’t yell at a co-worker or acquaintance from a street corner because she’s not your BFF, why would you do it on Twitter?

Am I off base? Would love to get your thoughts on this one.

Related Posts:

• Does Social Media Matter to Civilians?
• 5 Reasons Why Foursquare Isn’t Dumb
• Why Social Media Noise is Good
• 6 Tips for Building an Offline Network
• You Are What You Tweet

Tagged as: facebook, follow, followers, social media, Social Networks, Twitter, unfollow, unfollowers, who unfollowed me

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A few years ago when I was Community Manager for a popular online community, the owner and I disagreed regarding the value of Twitter. He wrote it off as a bunch of noise. In fact he wrote off most of social media as a bunch of noise. I soon learned though, that it wasn’t that there was a lot of noise but, rather, he didn’t know what to do with it. The more he embraced social media, the less noisy it seemed. Thus, I’d like to submit that folks who complain about social media noise perhaps aren’t using it to their full potential.

Let’s explore this “noise” thing. I’m sure that when using the term “noise” to describe social media, many are referring to annoying noises such as jackhammers and weed wackers.  Though for argument’s sake, I’ll also say that annoying is in the ear of the beholder and there are even those who enjoy hearing a weed wacker on a Saturday morning. (For the record, I’m not one of them.) But this is a post about why noise is good, and we’ll leave the weed wacker in the shed for today.

Let’s consider some of these noises:

• Birds
• Music
• Children
• Murmuring’s of a loved one
• A cat purring
• Reading aloud
• Waves upon a shore
• Thunderstorms
• Rain
• Fireworks

Noise doesn’t have to have a negative connotation. While we all have our moments where we want quiet, I think many of us embrace noise. Think about it: Favorite songs trigger memories and voices or laughter make us smile.  Despite moments of being frazzled or needing quiet for rest, we like noise. That’s why I’m suprised when folks read or hear about something being “noise” and write it off as a negative thing.

What does this all mean?

Obviously I’m writing a reactionary post based on other discussions referring to social media as “noise.” I think we all tend to read something like that and readily accept noise as a bad thing. The next time someone  dismisses Twitter or Foursquare as a bunch of useless noise, suggesting you don’t get so social and instead get all exclusionary and cliquey, consider what the word “noise” means to you. One person may have a low tolerance for noise, but this doesn’t mean everyone does.

We make our own noise. It’s the reason why some parents can put up with a child’s wailing on a drumset from the basement, when others won’t let a set of drums into the house. It’s why some us enjoy loud rock and roll and others go easy listening. Noise is only a bad thing if you allow it to have that connotation.

If you embrace the noises in your life, you might find that many of them aren’t so unpleasant. For example. that bird outside your window might not be exactly what you want to hear at 5:30 a.m. while you’re trying to sleep. However, three hours later, it’s just the ticket when you’re enjoying that first cup of coffee from the solitude of your back deck.

Embrace Noise

Noise can work for you, even social media noise. Instead of looking around Twitter and thinking there are too many people, look at it as a party where you will meet people as time progresses. Some of those people will become acquaintances, some good friends, and some you may do business with.  If you sat in the corner writing them all off as noise, you probably wouldn’t have made so many important connections.

The next time someone writes off social media as noise, consider your favorite noises and what they mean to you.  Maybe there’s something to it after all?

Related Posts:

• Does Social Media Matter to Civilians?
• Shaming Unfollowers: Should We Really Take it So Personally?
• 5 Reasons Why Foursquare Isn’t Dumb
• You Are What You Tweet
• 10 Tips for Using Twitter to Find Social Media Jobs

Tagged as: social media, social media noise, Social Networks, Twitter

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