Does Mommy Blogging Get in the Way of Getting Ahead?

You know my take on this one. I didn’t just ditch the “mom” for my career, I ditched the whole gender. (Only in name, of course.) I just don’t see the need to put that “mom” brand forward, especially if it’s not professionally related or if it does damage to business growth/earning potential.

One thing I’ve noticed that’s interesting: I’ve noticed a lot of credible careerwomen wave their kids and home life like some kind of hallmarks of achievement. “I’m an awesome professional AND I’m a mom AND I’m fantastic with my kids AND I’m superwoman…”

How is this related to, “I rock at my job”?

Men who have children don’t need to push their kids to boost their success. Why wave that torch if it’s not necessary? It doesn’t mean we care less about our kids – it’s just that there shouldn’t be a need to emphasize the “mom” part in a professional career to get ahead.

Of course, there also shouldn’t be a need to fight for respect because of being a mom anyways.

I am eager to hear the responses on this. I do think there is growing momentum for mom bloggers to be taken more seriously, but I think to see it happen it will take a huge shift in the mindset of what blogging is about for this community.

The primary sentiment I’ve had running through my head is that there is more to blogging (and by extension online biz) than working with brands. Isn’t it first and foremost about giving, of offering value, and of creating authentic and useful content? Aren’t corporate relationships a way to extend the value of your own brand not who you are in and of itself?

I have a blog that fits within the mommy blog category, but it has been more of a fitness course for my profession. I’ve tested and toyed with different CMS, writing styles and call and answers. I don’t hold it out as a symbol of my worth, but rather as an extension of my practice and a way to keep moving forward.

I’ve been intrigued by the evolution of the blogging community (for me mostly in the BlogHer realm.) I am shocked by some of the brand ambassadorships, you mention what women get in exchange for their work, I often raise my eyebrows at what the brands get. Poor writing, clunky design and a dearth of loyalty with loads of ads and self-promotional crap.

Mommy blogger is a broad term and it all depends on the blogger. The disrespect will continue unless women believe in their worth, as ambassadors, as writers, whatever. The first step might be to acknowledge the woman behind the mom and identify as a blogger, not as an easily disparaged “mommy blogger.”

I opted not to use my full name, or the names of my family on my personal blog (using instead nicknames) but that was more about protecting privacy of my peeps than worrying about my professional identity.

I use my given name for another blog that I write that pertains to my professional work. But in the end my clients end up discovering my personal blog, which is mostly a mommy blog, for any number of reasons: I reply to a message using the wrong email that has the url in the footer, or one of my colleagues mentions it or for some reason I decide to tell them about it. In the end, it hasn’t hurt me. If anything, it helps my clients understand me. But it’s probably something I’d rather they learn about me after they’ve encountered me professionally.

My “mommy blog” would only keep me from getting professional recognition, I think, if I were to write something really tawdry or nasty, which I tend to avoid. It makes me think twice about what I blog about (knowing that it doesn’t take a rock scientist to figure out who MDTaz is – a little google’ll get ya there) and reminds me of something my mother taught me, which is not to write anything on a postcard you wouldn’t want the world to read. I’m sure what I’ll be telling my daughters is not to write anything on a blog (or FB or Twitter or the next generation of social networking) that you wouldn’t want the world to read. But then, isn’t that why we write it there?

I have an email with a story to tell you! When I read about your sister and you passing on an opp… it reminded me very clearly of an opportunity I passed up that had a very strict content creation contract attached (but called a “blogger agreement”) attached to it. I think you did the right thing taking a pass on the opportunity and I can’t wait to tell you about my experience.

So glad you wrote this because I agree–the more people don’t talk about this, the more brands will persist in thinking that there are plenty of great bloggers out there with a great amount of influence and who are great writers who are willing to work for what basically equates to free. This is something I’ve blogged about a bunch of times because it drives me crazy. I’ve been a stay-home mom before and I know how low your self worth can dip, and how the prospect of feeling like you’re bringing any income at all in is very appealing especially if you can do it from home–so I get what the allure is. The whole “mommy blogger” thing capitalizes on women’s low sense of self worth, their inability to say no, and their desire to feel like they’re part of the “it” crowd. That’s why the formula works like it does: big brand pays PR firm lots of money to identify the people with influence who will work for something that sounds like it’s valuable but in the end mostly equates to time spent away from family and/or hours and hours spent online. Mom bloggers invest countless hours on their blogs for the privilege of feeling special–and if they get a free pack of diapers or some coupons out of it, they’re supposed to be grateful. And blog and tweet and Facebook about it, of course.

As for “are mom bloggers taken seriously out of their niche?”–I’d have to say a big NO. What thing that is preceded by the word “mommy” in the business world is actually respected? Um, that would be none.

Last–but not least–I think that it’s gotten so drama-filled and emotional that women are forgetting that what you say/do online will be around forever. All the drama and the blog wars and troll stuff will be there when, a few years from now, mom bloggers who delight in being mean girls want to ditch the mom label and be seen as social media professionals. A

Here’s just one of many posts I’ve written about why I’m not a mommy blogger; I could go on all day about this topic!
http://maggieunlimited.posterous.com/why-im-not-a-mommy-blogger

Thanks for this post, Deb. I don’t think of myself as a “mom blogger” b/c I blog about adulthood, which encompasses parenting but a whole lot more. That wasn’t so much a strategic choice as a reflection of my varied interests. I sometimes wish I were a Mom blogger b/c it’s a much more readily identifiable community and I sit on the edges of a bunch of dift communities, of which parenting blogs are but one. Having said all that, I was fascinated by your post abt BlogHer b/c I’ve never been to a conference of any sort (as a blogger) and it made me think hard about why one goes and what one gets out of it. I plan to share it with a British (Mummy) Blogging forum I’ve recently joined. As the whole mommy blog thing is just beginning to take off over here, I’m sure they will be fascinated.

Delia Lloyd
http://www.realdelia.com

I think it depends on the blogger, and how she manages her career. While some bloggers never do anything but blog, some have used their mom blogs to get freelance jobs related to parenting. Susan Wagner of Friday Playdate comes to mind–because of her blog, she was able to start getting freelance assignments on parenting topics in local publications, and I think she’s done a lot of work for the large blog networks too; I think she was even asked to contribute to an anthology of writing about parenting. There’s a blogger in my town who has a very popular blog about things to do with kids locally; she also teaches classes about blogging at the community college and some other community resources, has a segment on a local radio show every week, and writes a column in the alternative weekly newspaper. Both of these women have built careers from their mom blogging, and I think they did it by being smart and planning beyond their blogs.

Great topic Deb!

Even though I had been freelancing as a technical writer for over five years, my first paid blogging gig was at the now defunct Work From Home Momma blog. At the time, it never occurred to me that being labeled as a “mommy blogger” might be detrimental to my business. I simply wanted to help others find the freelancing flexibility that I enjoyed. I never worked for “swag,” only for cash.

Was I discriminated against because I was “mommy blogging?” The truth is, I can’t tell. It’s possible potential clients overlooked me because of the blog, but I didn’t lose a single client that I already had over it. In fact, I don’t think that my clients even cared about my blogging. If they did, they never said.

Of course, there are different modes of “mommy blogging.” My approach was to provide mostly business tips to an audience of WAHM readers. I never focused excessively on my own kids or published their pictures. We had some good discussions on that blog and I know that some of those readers are still friends with me today.

Most importantly, my participation on that blog paved the way to other paid blogging opportunities and gradually my blogging income has increased. I may be an optimist, but I think attitude and how you conduct yourself online have more to do with success than whether or not you blog (or blogged) about parenting. (At least, I hope this is true.)

That’s not to say there’s no discrimination at all since we don’t live in a perfect world. Sadly, there are always a few unjust folks out there. My heart truly goes out to those who feel that they’ve been discriminated against.

[...] Does Mommy Blogging Get in the Way of Getting Ahead? by Deb Ng at Kommein: As a childless male, I don’t really get mommy blogging. Deb is a mom though, and she really doesn’t get it either. [...]

[...] good amount of my online blogger friends (located all over the US) have remained committed to their readers, because they are banking on the increasing buy-in from the E-marketing community. [...]

Great blog…very insightful…but I’m from the other camp!  I work and have 4 kids…my husband stays home.

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