Now, you may think it’s a silly analogy, but I think there are many important comparisons. Who you trust, who you put your loyalties behind, and what those people do (or don’t do) to repay that trust and loyalty all play a part in the overall mood of the community. If you don’t act in the best interests of your people, anarchy and chaos ensue.

Behold, 5 community lessons from Game of Thrones.

Warning: May create a spoiler or two.

1. When you have the trust of your community, it’s a good idea to stick around

Community managers are torn in different directions. Everyone needs us for something. Though our first loyalty is to the brands that hired us, we also have a loyalty to the people in our community. There is no task so important that it should keep the community team away from the people.

When the community is abandoned, two things happen. The first thing is that people lose faith in the brand and discontent sets in. They complain and eventually they leave for greener pastures.  The second thing that can happen is someone else can appoint himself community leader and take over. This leads to resentment. If you build a community you have to stick with it. You have to talk with your people every single day. You have to give them a reason to put faith behind you and your brand. If they think you don’t care, they won’t care. It’s as simple as that.

Why should there always be a Stark in Winterfell? Because as soon as the Starks began to leave Winterfell everything fell to crap. Now those Starks who aren’t dead are stuck in some pretty gruesome situations and Winterfell has fallen. Even if they come back, their community is a pile of smoking ruins. Don’t let this happen to yours.

2. Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean people will like you

My way or the highway may work in Kings Landing, but it won’t fly in an online community.

People appreciate leaders who are caring, show compassion and look out for the general good of the people. Leaders who are mean, abusive, and are in it for themselves find themselves dead or overthrown. If you’re not a people person, consider a different career. Community managers need to think about others more than they think about their own personal agendas.

Joffrey Baratheon may be powerful but no one likes him, and even more important, no one trusts him. Make decisions and interact with the best interests of your community in mind. Don’t be that guy.

3. With the right nurturing your community will grow over time

Ok, so your community is kind of small, but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure or that you should step aside. A community doesn’t have to be an overnight sensation to be successful.

If you take the time to learn about the people who make up your tribe and do the right thing by them, you’ll achieve a wonderful steady growth. Being in charge doesn’t mean pontificating to the masses and making up silly rules, it means taking the time to gauge their wants and needs. When you have the trust, respect and faith of your community, and if  you’re welcoming to all, you’ll notice a good, steady growth. Over time you’ll achieve the numbers you hoped for, and you’ll have a reputation of being the best at what you do.

Danearys Targaryen may lead a small group of followers but they’re extremely loyal because she takes care of them. Plus she has dragons, and that kind of rocks.

It is known.

4. Too many crowns only lead to confusion

Westeros is an interesting continent.  It has the warmth of the South, the cold beauty of the North, and even a few Wildings and White Walkers beyond The Wall to mix things up a bit. But do you know what it doesn’t have? A community united behind one single king.

People just can’t up and appoint themselves as leaders, they have to earn that role. Moreover, when everyone wants to be king, it gets to where no one knows who to put their faith behind. In this social media age, everyone is looking for a title and sometimes those titles don’t make a bit of sense. It’s better to not be in charge than to be one of five people vying for the crown. Having more community leaders and moderators than you have members is kind of silly.

If people are confused they won’t stick around and if you’re good at what you do you’ll earn your title. The iron throne isn’t built for comfort. If you’re going to seek it out, be sure you’re ready for all the aches and pains that come with it.

5. The right team makes all the difference

Varys, Littlefinger, and anyone with the last name “Lannister” all have their own agenda, none of which match up to be in the best interests of the community they help to govern.  The community manager is only a small part of what makes a community tick. There’s a whole team of customer support, marketing, editiorial, and operational people to help things run smoothly.

You may only know your community manager’s name, but rest assured there’s a whole awesome team behind him or her. When everyone works together, the community is positive and productive. When they’re off to pursue their own agendas, that disconnect and discontent also reflects on the community. If the team behind the community doesn’t care, neither will the people who makes up the community.

It’s all about trust. Robert Baratheon’s council didn’t have it and look where they are now. But don’t worry. I won’t spoil that one for you.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan? What lessons can you take from it?

Community love isn’t a sure thing. There are days when you post and no one participates. You use the best stuff in your arsenal too. You’re funny, you’re smart, you ask intriguing questions and yet, despite doing everything but yelling “COMMENT! DANG IT!” it’s as if no one is paying attention to anything you do. The worst part is that you’re hired to build a community. Your job is to get folks to “like” your Facebook page, comment on the blog, follow you on Twitter or retweet your links. But some days, despite your best effort and thousands of friends and followers, it just doesn’t happen.

It’s so frustrating.

Communities are so fickle. One day they show up in droves, the next day it’s virtual crickets. And community managers do everything they can to find the special formula to make it work. We study our community to learn their most productive online times of the day and we spend time analyzing keywords and entry pages. I think something people don’t often understand is the science and logic behind community management. We can’t just post a couple of lines and expect community to ensue, we have to work hard at making it happen -and the hard part is if we look like we’re trying to hard then we look like tools. Each community is different and it’s up to each community manager to learn as much as they can about the people who are liking or friending them in order to have a productive community.

Sometimes, if I see a brand post on Facebook, Twitter or a blog and no one has responded I like to drop a comment or give them a retweet because I know how frustrating it is to try and foster conversation and it doesn’t happen.  It’s like that tree falling in the forest thing. If a community manager posts on the social networks, and no one responds, is there still a post? It’s like giving a talk to a packed room full of people but when it’s audience participation time everyone leaves.

That never feels good.

Whether we’re cultivating our own communities or managing them for someone else, we live for the likes, retweets, and comments. Our jobs depend on them. Because even though we know we still might be achieving certain goals through our social media efforts, if the people in charge don’t see community participation they often feel we’re a failure.

Every community manager has a bad day. It’s not necessarily a lack of skill or the inability to foster a conversation. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen.

• Don’t take it to heart, it happens in the best of communities. Just not every day.
• If it’s a one time occurrence or happens only now and then, it’s not an indication of community apathy.
• Community participation isn’t always a measurement of success, if your community is still positively reacting with sales or a good word of mouth vibe, they’re still paying attention.

However, if it happens more often than not, it might be cause for concern.

• For newer communities you may need to give it time.
• For more established communities you may need to find different topics of discussion, or research your community to discover optimal posting time.
• If you have a good community turnout on certain networks but not others, you might consider dropping that one network as there’s a chance your community just isn’t into it. (But give it time, don’t just drop a comment or two and give up.)

I think the worst thing we can do is force community. When we beg for comments, we kind of look silly. Asking “Anyone?” or saying “Doesn’t anyone have an opinion on this?” two hours after the day’s topic was posted is only calling attention to the fact that there’s no comments. Sometimes, it’s fine to just chalk it up to a bad day.

Do you ever have a slow comment day with your community? How do you revive the conversation?

When I lived in Queens, I witnessed a triple homicide and ended up having to testify in court.  It was a hard case to prove, though. Because out of an entire block filled with people, very few of of my neighbors wanted to get involved. Some were afraid of repercussions, some didn’t want to be bothered with having to deal with a trial and some didn’t want to take time off from work or from their daily schedules.

The web is like that sometimes.  I’ve witnessed pile ons, mob mentalities and personal attacks and the victim in most cases has a wide assortment of friends and followers, but no one who is willing to publicly have his or her back. In public, the subject of the attack or heated discussion appears to stand alone. In private he is receiving Skypes and emails showing support.

Why is this?

Why are we so afraid to publicly state our affiliation? Are we afraid to get involved? Are we afraid we’ll be attacked as well? Back channel support is welcome and important, but so is front channel support. It tells the folks who are on the front lines you have their back and you care enough to defend them.

In a public discussion, why do you take support private?

Discuss…

One dilemma I’m facing as I research and gather notes to begin writing my book, “Online Community Management for Dummies” (sick of hearing about it yet?) is how I keep repeating the term “online community” or “community.”  It was drilled into our heads in writing school that we need to break out the thesaurus in order to not sound tedious and repetitious.  And I am. But collecting words that mean “online community” is more of a challenge than one might think.

Take the word “clique,” for example. Not everyone sees this as a positive word because it often implies exclusivity, and many online communities are welcoming to all. Ditto “tribe.” This is a more hip term for online community, one that’s widely used at this juncture, but there are plenty of people who see it as something that doesn’t allow for outsiders.

Thesaurus.com has an interesting list of synonyms for “community” but not too  many fit:

• Association
• Body politic
• Hamlet
• Commonwealth
• Company
• District
• Locality
• Neck of the Woods

See what I mean?

To me, a community is a group of like-minded people who work and share together. I don’t think the definition varies much online and offline.

As so many of my online friends, my own online community, are also into this community thing (see, I’m overusing the word again) I thought I’d reach out on the social networks and see what others thought about the lack of usable terms for online community. I asked folks to suggest their own.

Here are some of the terms we came up with:

1. Tribe – Probably the most popular term being bandied about the web, most people think it’s cute, but plenty of people said they cringe when they hear it used because they don’t see it as a positive.
2. Collective - A favorite as it indicates the true spirit of community.
3. Clique – To many, this indicates exclusivity.
4. Members – This is what I call the people who make up a community (another overused term in my writing) but it does indicate a sense of belonging.
5. Group – General term, works but kind of vanilla. Still, I’ll use it from time to time.
6. Murder – Another name for a flock (of crows, according to dictionary.com) but it’s a little too negative and violent for me. What do you think?
7. Flock - Not sure how I feel about this one. It sounds religious (see: congregation) but I don’t mind it either.
8. Congregation – Might be too religious for some.
9. Klatsch – Fun, kind of folksy and Linda Richman-ish but might be a good name for a small, tight knit community.
10. Gaggle - Which Jodee Redmond described as a “disorderly or noisy group of people,” but reminds me of a flock of geese. A community of geese?
11. Pack – Has a kind of wild inference, what do you think?
12. Pod - Suggestion of a few tweeters, I’m not sure that when I see “pod” I think “community.”
13. Clan – Another word for “family.” Could work – I think I like it much better than murder.
14. Mob - I don’t think I want my online community to be described as a mob. I get a torch and pitchfork vibe.
15. Posse – Hmmm. Have to think about this one.
16. Cult - Come and drink the Kool Aid.
17. Gathering - Like it. Has a sort of company or family picnic sort of feel.
18. Club – Indeed, a club is a community but is it too exclusive?
19. Circle – Like it – like “circle of friends.”
20. Crew – A group of people working together? I can see the benefits.
21. Friends – How can I find fault with that?
22. Advocates – A nice word for folks who are feeling the vibe and spreading the word.
23. Team - There’s no “I.”
24. Folks - While a comfortable term, one I use a lot, I tend to use it more for individual people than an entire community.
25. Participants - Like members I find this term to be more about the individual than the entire group.

What are some words you can think of for online community?

The other day, I wrote a post calling b.s. on retweets. The post, which was intended to be a discussion of the value of the retweet, and was intended to explore if a retweet is more valuable than a blog post or giving to a charity, (because influencers are often judged on how many retweets they receive with each tweet), read like I was calling folks out for not doing enough.

I regret my words.

Mostly I wanted to explore how to go beyond a retweet but because of my sensationalist headline and talk about whether or not a single retweet is really influential, it read like I was calling out folks for not reaching into their pockets or blogging about our cause. That wasn’t my intention and I feel really bad, so I removed the post. I don’t like removing posts, and I hate when bloggers backpedal, but the SXSWCares campaign is near and dear to my heart and I didn’t want to minimize anyone’s contribution, especially if the most they could afford, or feel comfortable with is a retweet.  I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about not contributing to a campaign they don’t believe in and I certainly don’t want to bully anyone into donating to my cause. That I ended up losing the respect of someone who I respect very much really hit home.

I hope you understand.

So because I’m feeling a bit remorseful right now and truly regret my post, I thought maybe we could use this weekend’s discussion as an exploration of the value of a retweet.

There have been times when someone influential retweeted a blog post of mine, and received dozens of retweets in response, but no actual traffic followed as a result. So perhaps the retweet got my name out there a little bit, but is it less valuable because no one visited my post? (Even though so many people endorsed it with a retweet?)

I’ve seen folks retweeting links to charity campaigns and I often wondered if they actually gave to those campaigns or if they’re just retweeting because someone they respect online asked them to do so. Indeed, the #SXSWCares campaign raised almost $90,000 as of this writing,  and I have no doubt we wouldn’t have raised this amount without the many retweets we received. (For which we’re so grateful.)

So, while I still believe that retweets don’t last very long, and something like a blog post is more valuable, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the value of a retweet. Are they indicative of one’s influence? Probably, because the folks who are considered most influential receive the most retweets. Are they valuable? I’ll argue that it depends on the campaign. Folks don’t always click on links, so maybe they weren’t influenced to do more than retweet. However, spreading the word about a cause or charitable event is never a bad thing.

Your thoughts?

I often talk about passion. I’m one of a small percentage of people who are able to achieve success through passion.

My passion for writing led to my passion for blogging and social media. But let’s make no mistake, while I do believe that we should all find our passion, and that we would all be happier if we were passionate about our jobs, realistically we need to go where the money is.

My family has been extremely patient with me. Starting a freelance writing career and subsequently becoming a professional blogger and social media professional took time. Lots of time. If my husband had a different job, things might have been a lot different. I might not have been able to pursue my passion or, I might have had to set aside an hour or so after the day job to write and blog.

Passion is important for sure, but what happens when the passion isn’t making any money. Realistically my family always comes first and if I had to give all this up and go back to an awful office job in order to help make ends meet or pay for my son’s college, I would.  Money trumps passion in this instance. I have to earn enough to help pay the mortgage or put food on the table. Passion drives us, but it doesn’t necessarily put money in the bank.

Is it worth it to be a “starving artist?” Is doing what you love more important than skipping meals or bad credit? What is more important? Passion or profit?

I’m fortunate enough to make a living from that which I’m passionate about, but if it didn’t pay the bills I wouldn’t be here.

How about you?

I have something on my mind and I think it’s time to get it out in the open. If you follow me on Twitter or follow the BlogWorld Expo Facebook page, you’ll know I’m not down with all the expert bashing lately. While I agree that it’s easy enough for folks to call themselves a “experts” online, that doesn’t mean no one can use the title at all or give credit where it’s due.

• There are plenty of people out there who have many years of experience, both in and outside of school.
• There are plenty of non-degreed individuals who have been practicing their crafts for so long, they are indeed, experts.
• Truthfully, while I know there are many shysters out there, I rarely see anyone calling himself an “expert.”

Let’s take it to Dictionary.com, shall we?

expert (ˈɛkspɜːt)
— n
1.	a person who has extensive skill or knowledge in a particular field
— adj
2.	skilful or knowledgeable
3.	of, involving, or done by an expert: an expert job

So what’s the problem, here? Again, I don’t see too many people calling themselves “experts.” However, the people who are true experts? The one’s who should be using that title but are afraid to because they’re not allowed to say they’re an expert for fear of backlash? Most of them qualify, according to the above referenced definition.

Extensive skill and knowledge.

Here’s some of the truly silly stuff I read recently regarding experts:

• If you’re an expert, you’re not allowed to say you’re an expert: Why? Is there an Expert Police patrolling the Internet determining who can call themselves experts and who can’t? Why bother getting a Ph.d or spending twenty years working at what you love if you can’t call yourself an expert? Who judges – and what makes them qualified?

• Just because you haven’t done something in a while doesn’t mean you’re still not good at it: I read something along these lines this week. So a marketing expert left his business for six months to do something else but it didn’t work out. Now he wants to come back and teach marketing online. Except the Expertise Police say he’s unqualified because he’s been gone for six month. Silly right? I love to crochet and I’m quite good at it. However, I didn’t get any crochet time in this season because I’ve been so busy. Does this mean I can’t teach my neighbor to crochet? Look, just because you haven’t done something in a while doesn’t mean you aren’t staying fresh. Are you keeping on top of trends? Are you taking refreshers? Are you taking care to learn new techniques and keep track of all the players? Then what’s the problem?

• You’re only an expert if you command a high pay check and have the stubs to prove it: I’m sorry Mr. Gates. You’re unqualified to own that company because you don’t post your paystubs or customer testimonials on your personal blog.

• Blogs equal authority: Just because someone blogs every day doesn’t make that person an expert. But people are smart. They know the difference between someone who is experienced and has expertise and someone who isn’t so experienced but is offering some tips based on what she’s learning. Both are qualified to blog, but only one is a true expert.

• You can be an authority in more than one topic: Someone can be an expert in freelance writing and social media. Someone can be an expert in rocket surgery and geology. We can take an interest in as many topics as we like, and even become experts in those topics.
• Unless you do it full time you’re not an expert: Says who?

Here’s the thing. We’re all grownups. Most of us can smell a rat from pretty far away. We know that just because someone hangs up a sign, it doesn’t make him an expert. However, that doesn’t mean we should turn our noses up at the people who call themselves experts, because many of them are. I’ve been doing this online thing for over ten years and in that time I have seen very few people use the word “expert” as their title. Yet everyone is bashing true experts, people who really deserve that title.

If you worked hard to get where you are, be proud of your expertise. Hang your “expert” flag high and don’t be afraid to wave it wide and proud. If you’re a true expert you shouldn’t be ashamed to use that tile regardless of what the Expert Police tell you.

So let’s discuss. What makes someone an expert and who determines expertise? Do you believe people who call themselves experts?

What’s wrong with being an expert?

I have to admit, when I comment on blogs I don’t check to see if the comment policy is “do f0llow” or “no follow.” Instead, I comment because I want to contribute to the conversation. And while I do agree that comments are a way to raise awareness and send people your way, I’d like to argue that commenting simply to receive a return link sort of defeats the purpose of the discussion. It’s sort of like me showing up to a party and not talking to anyone unless they agree to also attend my party immediately after. Yes, I believe in the love and power behind “do follow” but I never check to see if it’s in place before commenting on a blog.

That’s why a comment I received on last weekend’s discussion (asking why you don’t comment on blogs)kind of threw me for a loop:

Blogs like yours that doesn’t offer any form of link-love for my blog, therefore I am hesitant to comment on your blog. Why participate in a discussion where it doesn’t benefit me as well, why should I contribute to your blog? Sure, you have some social media plug ins but that’s just another hoop to jump through before my blog get’s any attention.
Sorry, that’s just how it is. You have a great blog and being a PR3 blog I am interested in contributing here, but not if there’s a no-follow policy.

When did blog discussions become a “what’s in it for me sort of thing?  Even though we know that commenting is a great way to bring awareness to our own blogs, I mostly comment because I’d like to take part in the conversation and not because I’m expecting something back in return.

Also, I find Disqus to be an excellent content management system, one used by many of today’s top bloggers. Folks have found their way to my blog via Disqus, and vice versa. I don’t know that it would be so popular if it was detrimental to commenters’ blogs.

I realize, though, that I might have a different mindset. So let’s turn this into our weekend discussion. Do you check to see a comments are a do follow before commenting? Do you comment more for the return love than participating in the discussion? Do you even think about a link back to your blog when commenting?

Discuss…

Yesterday’s discussion, “Are the Social Networks Keeping Conversation Away from Your Blog” spawned some interesting comments.  In fact, this bit by Dino Dogan, is the basis for this weekend’s discussion: (paraphrased)

Also, I whats even more frustrating are those who read my blog on the regular, but NEVER comment.

I think about this sometimes. For example, my last blog had over 15,000 daily readers, yet received  15 to 100 comments each day. That means the bulk of the community read without participating in the discussion. Though this blog is newer and doesn’t receive as much traffic as the aforementioned blog, I still receive far fewer comments than readers – and I know it’s the same way with you too. I don’t know that I’m as frustrated as Dino by it all, but it does lead me to wonder why the majority of people who subscribe and read, don’t want to comment.

Do I smell?

So let’s talk about why this is. In the past, I’ve heard of the following reasons for not commenting on blogs:

• Too difficult to comment – have to jump through hoops or deal with CAPTCHA to comment.
• The post left no room for discussion.
• The post wasn’t comment-worthy.
• Someone already said the same thing.
• No time to comment.

All reasons are valid. However, if you read the same blog every day, surely there is something about said blog that resonates with you. Surely once in a while a comment is in order, right?

So, tell us. What makes you read a blog each day but not want to comment?

Discuss…

You might also enjoy reading:

• Dissecting Blog Comments
• 5 Tips for Getting Blog Comments
• Why My Blog Gets No Comments at Daily Blog Tips
• 31 Proven Ways to Get More Comments to Your Blog at Stepcase Lifehack
• 18 Types of Posts that Get More Comments at Blog Herald

Here’s a discussion topic for the weekend. Are blog communities cliques? Is a clique a community? Can one be both?

I ask this after a discussion with other community professionals who are concerned about some blog  and online communities who aren’t very welcoming to newcomers. They may occasionally say “hi” or “hello” but they’re more prone to keeping it withing the family, in a manner of speaking. In many cases they don’t think or notice they’re a clique, but they’re so used to talking to the same people all the time, they don’t really notice anyone else.

If you’re not sure if you’re hosting a community or a clique, let me throw a few questions out at you:

• Do you include private jokes and scenarios that only a few select people understand, leaving everyone else who visits your blog confused?
• Do you only respond to comments from friends and people you know?
• Do you only chat with the same few people on your blog and the social networks?
• Do you reach out to people outside of your niche?
• Do you encourage newcomers or make them feel silly?
• Do you allow disagreement, even respectful disagreement?
• Do you only link to blogs among your favored friends?
• Do you have Follow Friday recommendations featuring the same select people every week?

Now, if you want to host an online clique over an online community, you’re certainly welcome to do so, but it’s important to understand why your blog might not be growing as you had hoped.

A community is a collective of people sharing ideas and tasks. True online communities are welcoming to all.

You favor community over a clique if you:

• Reach out to all newcomers and make them feel welcome.
• Write blog posts with discussion in mind, hoping to receive feedback from all points of view.
• Ask questions of readers and participants and blog or react with them in mind.
• Answer questions in a positive manner regardless of how negative they might be.
• Encourage all members to interact and share with each other.
• Link to and reach out to so called “competitors.”
• Make it less about you and more about the community.

What are your thoughts about online cliques? What makes a community different?

You might also enjoy reading:

• Avoiding the Community Clique at The Community Roundtable
• Blogging Communities or Cliques and Circles at Technorati
• Dealing with Forum Cliques: GeekPoint.net
• Why You Can’t Underestimate the Importance of Community – Kommein
• Get More Members of Your Community Active – Community Spark