So I bought Mr. Ng a smoker for Christmas. It arrived about two weeks in advance and he used it for the first time on Superbowl Sunday. Except that a couple of hours into some ribs the side box door fell off and couldn’t be repaired. So I contacted the place I ordered it from, explained what happens and asked if I could have a replacement part.

“No,” they told me. I have to report all damage and request returns within a week of receiving the smoker. Sorry. They can’t do anything for me now. Never mind that there was no visible damage when I received the smoker and never mind that the damage happened once the smoker got some heat into it. I didn’t use it right away and thus there weren’t talking to me.

End of discussion.

I posted my experience with this company, without calling them out, on Facebook and Google+. I thought we could get into a discussion about why this was a customer service #fail and what the company should have done to rectify the situation. Instead, just about every comment was asking me to publicly call out the company. My communities said it was my duty to name the product and brand so no one would have this experience again.

I disagree and here’s why:

1. This may be a one time problem. There’s a good chance our smoker might be the only defective smoker in the batch. I can’t call a product out as shoddy if I’m the only one with an issue.
2. I’m not done with them yet. I only spoke with one person. She could have been having a bad day. She could have been someone disgruntled or she could have been the cleaning lady, I don’t know. However, I can try again and see if I can have a conversation with someone in a different position or department. You see, the right person can make all the difference and I’d rather have a good relationship with a brand than a bad relationship with a brand.
3. I don’t want to be that girl. I think some people are social media bullies and use their reach as a “my way or I’ll make your life a public relations nightmare” tool.  I’m not going to publicly call anyone out, and possible risk a company crisis, unless I’m sure there’s no other recourse.
4. My reputation is on the line. If I start calling people out after one brief, bad customer service experience I get a reputation for being someone who tends to call people out if she doesn’t get her way. It makes people not want to do business with me personally or professionally.

I think there are times when I could use my social media powers to gain more leverage, but I like to choose my battles. I see people complain online about some really dumb, petty things. It’s going to get to the point where brands aren’t going to care about what people are saying about them online because some of them are silly nitpicks having nothing to do with the brand at all.

When will I call out a brand?

• When all avenues are exhausted and I have no other recourse
• When they insult or belittle
• When they’re offensive
• When they’re bullies

The social networks are powerful tools. A rogue Tweet can go a long way. I don’t want to create a headache for any brand unless I’m sure they’re deserving.

Am I wrong?

I consider myself very fortunate in that I work from home for a company in California. As you can imagine, working remotely has many perks which I list here from time to time. However, over the past couple of weeks I developed the Web Worker Blues as I dealt with spotty Internet connections at home and sporadic hotel and conference WiFi as I traveled. As I waited for the cable repairman to come by and fix my connection yesterday, I listed some pros and cons of being a web based worker.

1. Connectivity

Pro: You can work anywhere

Being web based means I can work from home or the local coffee shop. If my cable goes out, as it often does, I can drive to Starbucks or the library. I can even work while waiting for my son to complete kid activities because many of them offer WiFi to parents as well. When I’m not connected, I can use Tether via my smart phone and connect that way.  This comes in handy as I travel often for my job and finding hotspots is ultra important.

Con: You’re only as good as your Internet connection

Even Starbucks has Internet issues and Tether is slow sometimes. There have been times when my home connection is down, I can’t get my Tether to work and Starbucks and the library have issues. Without a good Internet connection I’m screwed and I can’t afford to be screwed. I have a job and book deadlines and outages are not an option. (But to be honest, sometimes they’re very welcome.)

2. Location

Pro: You can work anywhere

I  love that I can take my job anywhere.  If  I’m spending extended time with family or even taking a vacation, I can bring my laptop along and get work done.  I have a flexible life which means I can write at the playground, answer emails on the beach or make phone calls from the back deck. Not having to commute into a traditional office all day saves gas and my sanity.

Con: You can’t work anywhere

Technically, I can work anywhere. Truthfully, I can’t. Unless I’m alone or everyone around me is working too, I’m easily distracted. There’s too much sun glare outside and too much activity during vacations, sporting events or family gatherings.  I try but working remote from my remote location causes me to lose focus. Despite what everyone tells you, you can’t always work from vacations or while visiting your large, raucous family for the weekend.

3. Communication

Pro: Web based tools to keep in touch with coworkers

The beauty of the Internet is that it allows me instant access to my team. Email, Skype, phone calls,  and Dropbox afford me the tools to stay connected.  While I may not always get the immediate answers an office worker might get walking two cubicles over, If not for the web I wouldn’t be able to effectively do what I do because it requires heavy communication with my team.

Con: Email

Heavy communication requires heavy email. Every day my mailbox is filled with hundreds of emails from coworkers, and folks who have questions or comments. I’m glad to be of assistance and do my best to respond to everyone, but it takes a lot of time. Email (especially those dreaded “reply alls” ) pile up every day and I need to find solutions for effective communication without so many emails.

4. Dress Code

Pro: No dress code

You’ve heard it all before – home/web based workers can work in their pajamas if they’re so inclined. This is very true, we have a very casual life style.  It saves on wardrobe and shoe bills, and we don’t have to worry much about suits or business casual unless we’re at meetings or conferences.  Jeans are my regular uniform and I feel this comfort makes me more productive.

Con: No dress code

Notice how I said  ”jeans are my regular uniform?”  That’s because I feel there’s such a thing as being too casual. I work best when I change out of my pajamas or swets. When I’m too casual, I’m in a too casual frame of mind. Getting dressed separates that home/work line. Also, I like to pull myself together. It gets depressing walking around looking like a schlub all day. If I’m a mess, I feel a mess and it’s distracting. I shower, get dressed and fix my hair every day to put me in the proper frame of mind.

5. The Internet

Pro: You won’t get chewed out for being online all day

When I worked in an office I needed a good excuse to get online as it wasn’t really needed for my job. Now, I can surf to my heart’s content. Even if it wasn’t my job, if I want to tweet, I tweet. If I want to say “hi” on Facebook, I say “hi” on Facebook and if I want to look up information I can do so without looking over my shoulder to see if my boss is watching. In fact, my boss is probably online as well.

Con: Distractions galore

The Internet is a distraction. Even though I need it for my job, there are times when I purposely shut it off just so I can get more work done. I don’t know too many web based workers who can stay offline the whole day (with the exception of business purposes) because the web, the social networks, the music, and the connections call all day. All day. For this reason, I think web based and home based workers have to be extremely focused. It’s too easy to waste the whole day online on non-work stuff.

Your Turn…

I just listed my top 5 pros and cons of having a web based job. Are you a web based worker as well? What do you feel are the pluses and minuses to this kind of work?

This is the time of the year when my commuting into the office, full time employment peers tell me how lucky I have it because as a work from home contractor, I get flexibility over the holidays.

This is true. I can make my own hours, if I’m so inclined. And I’m also extremely fortunate.

But as a work from home contractor, you know what I can’t make?

• Health benefits
• Paid sick time
• Paid vacation time
• Leaving the office at the office
• Paid holidays

It’s not all party, party, party

Now, I know I can start and stop work any time I want in my home office. If I want to stop to bake holiday cookies, I can. If I want to take a break to do some shopping, I can. Heck, if I want to spend the entire afternoon watching bad TV movies, I absolutely can.  As long as I get my work done.

See, I can take a week off at Christmas time, but unlike some of my friends who take vacation time during the holidays, no one is going to pick up my slack. I can’t call in a temp or train a co-worker to cover for me.  If I commit to a job or project and I agree to a price and deadline,  I have to get that done within the required time frame or I don’t get paid. So, yes, I can show up at all the holiday gatherings, and take time to be with my family, but unlike those of you who receive vacation time I’m also waking at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. or staying up late in the night to fulfill my obligations.

Unlike many of my friends who work in an office, I don’t necessarily have the ability to leave work completely at 5:00.  Usually, because I work at home, there are distractions that make it so that I’m working much later. Also? If I do blow off work and have some fun and don’t make it up, my clients know. If I’m contracted to work 40 hours for them, and I’m spending the day playing  games or going to a holiday gathering, and only work an hour a day, the work I turn in to them looks like an hour of work a day. No matter how I swing it, I can’t fit forty hours of work into five hours and look like I worked 40 hours.

Now, don’t cry for me blogosphere, I have a good life. I love what I do. I love where I work and I love the terms I agreed to. I even love that I have a second book project on top of all that.  But before you assume I can take off any time, or that I can get away without doing much at all simply because there’s no one watching over me, remember that most contractors have a full work day to put in with no benefits, perks, days, or bonuses.

I realize that all of the above are my choice and I’m not complaining at all. However, the next time you tell me how lucky I am because I can take off whenever I want, remember that just because I’m enjoying time with friends and family over the holidays, doesn’t mean I’m not working. I’m usually spending my down time working, sometimes at hours when most revelers are sleeping in.

What’s your situation?

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you know email is the bane of my existence. At this point, I get so much of it, it’s difficult to stay on top of and things inevitably fall through the cracks. While I try to respond to everyone who sends me an email (on both personal and professional accounts) there are times when I just don’t bother.  I addressed this in a post I wrote in June, 2011 called 10 Reasons I Don’t Answer Your Email.

Now, I do respond to most of my email, because most of it warrants response. Also, I know how frustrating it is to write to someone and not receive the courtesy of a reply. Still, some of you out there are a little impatient. Sometimes folks get a little testy if I don’t drop everything immediately and respond to emails soon after they hit “send.”

Pestering me on Twitter or Facebook because you sent an email a few minutes ago and didn’t receive a response doesn’t make me want to move quicker. Or, it may inspire me to answer right away, but it might be out of duress and I won’t give you the attention you deserve.

If I don’t immediately respond to your email, there’s usually a good reason.

1. It requires more than 60 seconds of my time: It’s better for both of us if I wait until I have the time to read and respond rather than dropping everything and sending you an email immediately because I know you’ll be pinging me soon to wonder why I didn’t send you an email.
2. I’m on the phone with you because you called to tell me you’re sending an email: If you want me to respond right away stop pinging me via other channels to tell me about your email.
3. It’s a weekend: Maybe I work on the weekend. Maybe I don’t. But I like having options.
4. It’s 10:00 p.m.: Dude.
5. I still haven’t gotten to the other ten emails you send in the past hour: I just want to make sure you’re done and maybe answer everything in one fell swoop than to send responses to 100 individual emails by the same person.
6. You have to take a number: I still have respond to all the emails I received from other people today.
7. It’s a pitch: Very few pitches are worthy of more than the delete function.
8. It’s a poorly researched pitch: Don’t pitch antifreeze for my food blog, please. No matter how hard you try to twist it around, it’s still not topic appropriate.
9. The “Reply Alls” are killing me: Every time I try to respond, one of the other 99 people in the “reply all” chain takes my answer.
10. There was no need to reply: You didn’t ask a question or give any indication a reply was warranted. You told me you were going to do something and how you were going to do that something but made it clear you weren’t looking for any type of feedback or information.
11. Because I’m not ready for the ensuing back and fourth: Ever read an email and just know it wasn’t going to be resolved with one quick answer?  Back and forth emails are the reason  I prefer to use the phone.
12. You sent me a “I just saw you on Twitter so I know you’re available to answer this question” email: Dude. It’s Sunday afternoon, can’t I have a little social conversation on a day off without being expected to work?
13. Your email has “Fwd Fwd Fwd Fwd” in the subject line: If it shares pictures of puppies or double rainbows I’m so outtathere.
14. You want me to Digg/Stumble/Tweet/Retweet/Share your sh*t: Just. no.

Now, this doesn’t mean I have no intention of responding to your email and having a positive, productive discussion. However, if I don’t drop everything to respond right away, please don’t get passive aggressive on the social networks or call me out for not responding immediately. I will answer (unless it’s a FWD. or share request), but I can’t always respond immediately.

What are some of the reasons you don’t get to your email right away?

I’m not an expert networker.  I’m sort of shy about approaching people and often worry about saying the wrong thing in conversation. I try to portray confidence, but the truth is, I’m not always confidnet in my ability.

I practice though. As a freelancer I knew I needed to meet the right kind of people to get my career going as opposed to relying solely on the online world. I started attending local professional events and even became president of a local woman’s group in order to expand my career. The networking on a local level helped me to be more confident as I began attending conferences.

Now, I network for other reasons – to find speakers for my own conference, evangelize to potential attendees, and spread the word about my book – but the methods I use remain the same.

I’ve been told I’m a good networker, but I don’t know if that’s true. The truth is, I enjoy talking with people and I love making new friends, and that’s how I approach networking even if I’m at a professional event.

If you poll a room filled with conference attendees about why they’re there, the top reason will most likely be to network. However, it’s my experience too many people feel being professional means being stiff and business-like.  Worse, too many people feel networking is selling. It’s neither being stiff or smarmy. Rather, networking is a way to meet other people and determine if they’re right for your business, collaboration,  or friendship.

Here are some of my rules for successful networking.  When you’re done reading, I hope you’ll let us know if you agree or disagree with any of these, or offer your own tips for networking.

25 Essential Conference Networking Tips

1. Consider why you’re there – Are you at the networking event to sell? Make a name for yourself? Promote something? Why you’re there makes a big difference in the types of people you meet and talk to.
2. Determine why you’re different from everyone else – Not better, but different. If you’re in a conference hall with 4,000 people all sharing common interests, it’s good to have a reason to stand out. And by standing out I don’t mean being brash, obnoxious, brutally honest or loud. Making people feel uncomfortable isn’t conducive to good networking.
3. Don’t just cling to A-listers - There are more B, C, D, E & Z listers at any given event than A-listers. They may not have the huge reach someone well-known might have, but you have a better chance of building relationships and spending time getting to know someone who may not be so busy. Also, today’s C-lister may be tomorrow’s A-lister. Finally, I’ve been very disappointed by some of the attitudes  of people on the A-list. Just because someone is successful, doesn’t mean he’s someone you want to emulate or associate with.
4. Don’t sell – Networking isn’t selling, though if you’re a good networker you can land sales. Sales pitches turn people off, and no one wants to be cornered in an elevator. Just talk. Eventually what you do will come into it and if the other party is interested she’ll ask to learn more. Being pushy is a turnoff, not a selling point.
5. Don’t brag – If the conversation is all about you and your achievements, you’ll soon find yourself alone. Networking is more about listening than talking.
6. Find common ground - We all have something in common whether it’s a job, hobby or kids.  When we find people with whom we share an interest, we share a kinship of sorts  and that leads to trust.
7. Don’t start off with “who are you with?“- Every time I attend a conference in NYC, the “Who are you with?” crowd comes out. It’s their opening introductory line. They don’t say, “Hi, my name is so and so, tell me about you…” They say, “who are you with?” as if where I work is more important than who I am or what I do. If I’m not with someone you deem important will you walk away? I don’t get this opening line at all.
8. Don’t offer a business card for the sake of offering a business card – I’m going to share something very few people are willing to admit. Most people who you hand off your business card to won’t use it.  They’ll throw it away or put it in some business card graveyard in their office and never look at it again.  Business cards are definitely useful and have their place at networking events, but handing them out just for the sake of handing them out is a waste. Give it to someone who you made a connection with and who you know will find it useful.  Don’t give them out just because you have them.
9. Watch the salty talk – Before you start swearing or telling bawdy stories, be sure the people you’re talking with are comfortable with that.  Most people aren’t and you won’t make the right impression.
10. Meet a variety of people - Don’t just go for your niche. Meet people who do a variety of different jobs for a variety of different places. You all have the ability to work together or learn from each other.
11. Don’t stalk - If there’s someone you want to meet, by all means do what you can to meet him. But don’t follow him around for five days because that’s just creepy. People avoid stalkers.
12. Make introductions – Make sure everyone who is having a conversation together knows each other. If you see someone who may not know everyone in your group, make some introductions. There are times when you don’t know everyone either, and you’re thankful when someone else brings you into the conversation. It works both ways.
13. Make everyone a part of the conversation - When I first started attending conferences I was afraid to join in an existing conversation for fear of butting in. Fortunately, others in the conversation made me feel at ease and  drew me in by asking me questions or making others aware of what I do. If you see someone listening in but not interacting, they’ll be so grateful if you make them part of the conversation too.
14. Instead of waiting to talk, listen – The problem with many conversations is they’re made up of two people talking and no one listening. Too many of us aren’t listening, but rather, waiting for the other person to to stop talking  so we can start talking again. How can you learn about someone else if you’re not listening. Networking isn’t about you. It’s about having a conversation and seeing where it takes you.
15. Don’t apologize for every little thing – When we’re nervous, insecure and feeling awkward we tend to apologize for every little thing. But the problem with this is it makes others feel as if you’re nervous, insecure and feeling awkward. Don’t apologize for things that are not your fault or not worthy of an apology, but do apologize for missteps.
16. Ask questions - When you’re networking, you’re doing so to make new connections, whether that’s readers for your blog, to drive sales,  to learn and share ideas, to promote something or to collaborate. How can you do this without asking questions and learning about the other person or people taking part in your conversation.  I say this often: networking isn’t about you. It’s never about you. The end result may be about you or your business, but networking is always about the other guy and how you can work together.
17. Don’t embellish – Don’t lie about your career. Don’t make up things you didn’t do or inflate traffic or sales numbers. When it turns out you’re lying, and embellishers or exaggerations are almost always found out, it just makes people not want to do business with you. Be honest about your details and why you’re there and you’ll find folks are more receptive.
18. Don’t go for “yes” or “no” questions – When you ask “yes” or “no” questions, the only responses you’ll receive are “yes” or “no.” That doesn’t make up much of a conversation, does it?Ask the types of questions people can expand upon. Take it beyond the “yes” and “no.”
19. Don’t get too personal - TMI. Don’t do it. People don’t want to know about your past hookups or how drunk you were the night before, as much as you think it’s a really cool ice breaker. Also? Don’t drop names, it only makes folks roll their eyes.
20. Don’t talk about your problems – People are polite. They’ll listen and nod, and even give free advice. Truthfully, though, total strangers don’t care about why your boss hates you or your ex-wife’s affair.  No one wants to be around Debbie Downer, and personal details are personal, anyway.
21. Work the room – Don’t wait for people to come to you. Instead, make your way around the room and meet different groups of people and take part in different conversations. You’ll meet many more people this way and make a good impression as someone with confidence and drive.
22. Don’t try to impress – Name dropping, number dropping and listing achievements to everyone who didn’t ask (and even some who did) only makes you look like a blowhard. There are ways to talk yourself up without making it look like a steaming pile of ego.  And frankly, people who want to learn about your achievements are going to Google you anyway.
23. Shake hands – It works.
24. Learn about the networking event and the people who will be there - Take time before you go to the conference to learn about why it’s being held, the exhibitors, the speakers, the content and the attendees. Learning about why people are there and what they hope to achieve by attending, will also help you work out your own angle for approaching people and finding common ground.
25. Follow up – Ok, you attended a conference, shook hands, collected business cards and came home. Now what?  Don’t wait for people to call you. Instead contact the people you’re hoping to connect with. Follow them on the social networks and build a true relationship. Send an email letting them know how much you enjoyed the conversation and see where that takes you. If you come home and never contact these people again, your networking was a complete waste of time and money.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think of my networking strategy? Am I doing it wrong? Do you have good tips to share too?

Discuss…

Over the past few months, I’ve been added to more Facebook groups than I can count on hands and feet. No one asked my permission mind you, they just added me. I’ve also been added to newsletter lists, mailing lists, affiliate lists and email groups.  Again, no one asked me.

Allow me to explain the beauty of the opt in…

When you add someone to a mailing list or a discussion group without their permission, it’s the equivalent of dragging them to a party or club meeting against their will, whether it’s a topic they care to discuss or not. It’s also the equivalent of sending them catalogs and junk mail they didn’t request in the first place. It’s totally not cool.

Opt in mailing lists and groups are when someone with a newsletter or discussion group says to his community, “Here is my list.  I don’t want to force it upon you, but feel free to sign up for it if it piques your interest. You’re under no obligation.”  The Community member signs up and receives a confirmation link to click just to make double sure he wants to receive said mailing or membership. Everyone is happy.

What happens when a group or mailing list doesn’t offer the aforementioned opt-in form and links?

What happens when you start such a gosh darn awesome private Facebook or other group and you want to invite all your friends? You do just that, you invite.  Blindly adding means you’re forcing someone to join your group without your permission. Chances are, your friends don’t really want to join this group, but they’re too polite to say no. They don’t want to hurt your feelings.  After time they start sneaking away, hoping you don’t notice.

If your group doesn’t offer an opt in or invite program, the onus is on you to do it manually. Say to your friends and followers, “Hey, I’m starting a group about collecting fireflies. Any other firefly enthusiasts who want to join, let me know or sign up here.” Now, everyone who wants to be in the group is in the group and not slinking away in the middle of the night. No one is annoyed at you (but not telling you) for adding them to yet another list.

Asking permission is good manners

It’s good manners to ask. Don’t assume everyone wants to be part of your club.

This post is about email, the email you might send to your favorite blogger or social media enthusiast, or someone you’re seeking advice or need a favor from. As I catch up on email after a week away, I find I’m getting a little stressed out.  I wonder if people who send email read what they write half the time, or if they really feel being pushy, negative or bullying is the way to go about doing business.

People, you need to check yourselves.

Now, I get these types of emails all the time, but as I’ve been catching up this week, it seems more consolidated and thus, I’m a little cranky about it.

• Someone who started out with a very angry request for advice and threatened to write me a letter a day until I responded.
• Several people who want me to drop everything I’m doing to perform a specific action right now.
• People who tell me a specific action is the “least I can do” because (insert reason that is out of my hands or has nothing to do with me here)
• People who try to  play the friend card to get in a particular door.

Holy cats! When did we turn into people who are so entitled we forget our manners?  I enjoy being helpful and try hard to be accessible,  but sometimes the tone of the emails I receive is so off putting they stick with me all day. I don’t ask for much. I’m pretty easy going. Please. If you’re sending someone an email, check yourself. You’d be surprised at how a little less entitlement and a little more please and thank you go a long way in helping you to achieve your particular goal.

It’s 5:00 a.m. I’m working in the dark and my soundtrack is a snoring husband and the pound of the surf outside the sliding glass doors of my hotel room. When we booked this family vacation, our first in five years, I had every intention of unplugging and leaving the laptop at home. Then The Book came along, and with it deadlines, and now I’m up every early every morning dealing with Author Review so I have my days free to enjoy my family.

What I really want to be doing is snoring away in bed next to my husband, sleeping until some UnGodly hour.  Instead, I’ll probably end up nodding off in the car as we head to our next destination or falling asleep before the rest of my family because I’m up so early getting ‘er done.

Over the past year I gave up pretty much all my clients in favor of a full time opportunity. I did it because I learned freelancing and freedom aren’t necessarily synonymous. Though I’m so thankful for this book opportunity, and I hope it’s the first of many, I also hope this is the last time I go away with my family and bring work. A major shift in attitude from the past ten years.

I used to think traveling with a laptop was freedom. Freedom from bosses. Freedom from 9 – 5. Freedom from dress codes. Freedom. Now I realize the true freedom comes from traveling without cords and chargers. Total unpluggage.

This trip is the last time I bring work on a family vacation. Though I’m so happy to have the kind of lifestyle allowing me to make my own hours, and I’m thrilled to be writing The Book, I know what would make my life even more perfect.

Leaving the laptop at home.

When was the last time you truly unplugged? When was the last time you blew off clients, email, Twitter, Facebook and the whole online world to sleep in next to a snoring spouse?  Next time, deadlines be damned, I’m going to do it.

How about you?

Can you truly unplug?

When you work at home you tend to spend more hours at your job.  Your work calls for you.  You sit down at 8:00 a.m. and work until 6:00 a.m. and sometimes you work longer days than that. You also stop a lot during the day, especially if it’s summer time and kids are home. I find I work a few hours and then I stop and take my son to whatever activity I need to take him to. Then I work a few hours and pick him up. Then I work a few hours and break for dinner or the family dog walk. And then I work again.

After a while, the lines between work and play become blurry.

The lines are further blurred because of  the social networks. The people I work with, do business with, and network with are on the social networks, and so are my friends and family. Sometimes I don’t necessarily want my family seeing all my business updates, and certainly much of the stuff I send out is no one’s personal business.

I need my space.

Now, I know much of it, Ok, all of it, is my fault. I’m the one choosing to overshare on the social networks, and I certainly am the one who’s adding all these friends and followers. Plus, I’m the one creates my own business hours as well.

Creating boundaries after you operated in a certain manner for ten years is sort of like dieting after you put on a lot of weight.  It doesn’t come off easy and changing habits is way hard

I love what I do. I’m not sitting at my laptop at all hours of the night because of poor time management (for the  most part). Most of the time I simply can’t tear myself away.

Still, I decided it’s time to take my life back.

• Closed Facebook to all but family and personal friends: This caused quite a stir, and even though I told everyone on Facebook I was doing it, too many people took it personally. Especially many people I never met in person. I didn’t do it because of a “noisy” feed, or because I had too many friends. I did it because I wanted a place just to share with my friends and family without the rest of the world knowing my business. What surprises me is how many people feel I’m selfish or rocking a huge ego,  even though I invited  everyone who isn’t connected to me in the real world to interact with me on Twitter or G+. Half the people who I culled from the list didn’t speak to me at all on Facebook, but wrote to complain about being dropped. It was an interesting result.
• Shut off my Skype during non business hours: If I’m working, Skype is on. If I’m not working, Skype is off. I used to keep it on all the time so I could talk to friends and family, but it got to the point everyone assumed I was working, even if it’s a Sunday at 2:30 in the afternoon. Now, Skype is only a business tool. If it’s on, folks are welcome to contact me with work related stuff. If it’s off, it’ll have to wait.  The people who need to reach me with business-related emergencies, know how to reach me via email, cell phone, etc.  It got kind of off putting to put on my Skype on Saturday night and receive a barrage from people who wanted to know if they can speak at BlogWorld.
• Learned to say no: I’m a sucker for a good story. It’s why I used to have so many clients I never had free time. Then I learned to say no. I have a full time job and I’m writing what I hope is the first of many books. I don’t need anymore clients. Even if they have a good story.
• Stopped answering the business line on weekends: I have an office line for my full time job, and it rings all the time. And I used to answer it all the time. Until I realized people understand if you don’t answer the phone late on Thursday night or Saturday afternoon.  Folks don’t respect my time because I let them.  So I changed that.
• Family time is family time: In all my line blurring, my family had to put up with the most. Late nights on the laptop,  neglected chores and no time spent doing fun things because I worked all weekend.  Family time is family time and they should always come first. Period.

I will say this, when I worked a traditional 9 to 5 job, I certainly had more free time. I left my job at the end of the day and that was it until next time. However, I  hope never to go back to that. I have the flexibility to do so many different things.  I can work at home from my family room comfy chair, and break to drive my son to camp or a friend’s house. And darnit, if I want to stop and take the family to a movie, I can do that too. I can also focus better without having to deal with office politics, co-workers who do nothing but gossip or yack on the phone all day, and a micromanaging boss breathing down my neck.

Everyone sees telecommuting as being this wonderful and glamorous lifestyle. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything glamorous about it at all. There are perks, to be sure, but not glamour. While it does afford me the opportunity to be flexible and less stuffy, if I’m not careful lines become blurry. That’s the part I don’t like, the blurry lines.

How do you balance work and life when you’re home based? How do you keep those lines from getting blurry?

My office line rings day and night, and all hours of the weekend.  I try and answer it whenever I can but there are times when I hear it ringing on a Sunday evening and think, “Sorry guys. I’ll catch you tomorrow, it’s family time.” and head outside for the pool.

I receive Twitter and Facebook DMs from folks who mention that if I’m online on the weekend, I must be working and so they’re sending me some questions. I wonder if that’s fair.

When you spend a lot of time on the social networks, the lines between business and pleasure are blurry. Folks figure if you’re at you’re laptop, you’re working. There’s none of that stopping to think, “Hey wait. It’s Saturday morning. Do I really want to ask her this questions or can it wait until Monday?”

I like to be accessible to the the people who make up the communities I work for or belong too. I think it’s important for them to know someone is available to answer their questions and put their concerns at ease. However, I think the instant gratification, social media world causes us to forget the people we interact with have a life. Fifteen or twenty years ago we’d never consider contacting a business on the weekends are during evening hours. Now? Not so much.  Most of the time when I’m working on weekends it’s catch up time and I can work at a relaxed pace without having to worry about Skypes, and phone calls. I’d like to not be afraid to interact on the social networks because someone wants to have a business call.  I also want to be able to stop what I’m doing at any time to join my family in our activity of the day.

As I write this part of me feels guilty as I wonder if folks will take this the wrong way. Am I telling them never to talk to me on weekends or in the evenings? No. All I’m doing is exploring the boundaries we create.

It used to be we’d leave our office at 5:00 and never see it or have to deal with work again until the next business day.  When your job is public and you spend a lot of time building relationships on the social networks, the lines get blurry and folks stop seeing you as someone with a life outside the job. Heck, sometimes I see me as someone without a life outside the job, myself. So as I was thinking about it this morning, I wondered if I’m guilty of exploiting the lines between personal time (on the social networks ) and public time, and some of the things I do or can do to not cross the line.

• If someone is online and interacting, there’s nothing wrong with interacting. To assume that person is going to want to receive DMs or emails on that day, relating to business, simply because they’re online is kind of wrong.
• If someone keeps business hours on the weekend, and makes it clear they keep business hours on the weekend. It could be OK to contact at that time. Check first.
• If someone is hanging out online during non business hours and I need to talk with them. Always assume after hours and weekends are private/family time.
• If there’s an emergency and I need to reach someone regarding a business matter on a weekend. Reach out to them,  I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m so inaccessible they couldn’t contact me with an urgent matter, whether it’s a weekend or not.

Here’s another thing to consider: I do work a lot on the weekend. Because I work at home I might take time to do things with my family during traditional business hours and work on the weekend to make up for it. I also might need catch up time between work and book.  I get that I’m emailing on the weekends, even though I don’t expect a response until Monday and it might cause some people to realize I want to get into the business nitty gritty during down time.  So I know I can cross lines too.

So I’m interested in what others think of all this. When you see folks hanging out on the social networks, is it an invitation for you to reach out with a business questions, even though it might not be during business hours? Do you assume that since they’re online, they’re open to work related questions?

Discuss…