Every day, at least a dozen people tell me to post something in my Facebook status. They usually go something like this:
I love puppies. They’re cute, cuddly and the best gosh darned friends ever. Post this in your status if you like puppies too.
Sometime they tug at the heartstrings a little:
No one should die because they cannot afford health care. No one should go broke because they get sick, and no one should be tied to a job because of a pre-existing condition. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.
Now, I’m sure we all agree everyone should have access to exemplary healthcare and doctors, but how boring would Facebook be if it was nothing but lectures and status updates making people feel sad, bad or guilty?
Speaking of guilty, these types of statuses are my favorite:
It’s breast cancer awareness week. Please post this in your status to show your support for the breast cancer awareness movement. I know 99% of you wont Re-Post this and I Know the 1% that will. Thank you ♥
Whoa. My grandma could have written that post. She liked to tell me what I wouldn’t do for her too.
Here’s the thing with Facebook status message requests: Am I a tool if I don’t show support for your cause? Am I a jerk if I don’t put your status in my status? Am I a bad friend if I’m not one of the 1% who repost? Are the status update requesters keeping count? I’m pretty self conscious and if I know I’m on a list of people who don’t care about (insert cause or campaign here) , well I don’t know if my fragile self esteem can take it.
Lest you write me off as uncaring or callous, please know I support plenty of causes and charities. However, the one thing I don’t want to do is force anyone to take my point of view. Also, I think there are plenty of people who agree with me when I say if every person’s updates were all flame lighting, unicorn and rainbow status requests, well, that’ll just drive me over to Google+ even quicker.
I’m not saying folks shouldn’t share their messages on Facebook. I think we all talk about topics that are important to us now and again and we shouldn’t be made to feel bad for that. It’s the guilt or being made to feel as if we’re not a good friend if we don’t copy and paste a message into our own statuses that’s getting a little uncomfortable.
And you know what else? The statuses we really should see? We never do.
Now, I know many of you are thinking the same thing, so I’m going do you all a favor and come out with it. These are these status updates folks should really be asking us to repost:
1. Game updates:
If you play any Facebook games ending with “ville” or “wars” we don’t need to know about it. We don’t want to know what jewels you’re collecting or if the sparkle fairy paid you a visit. We don’t want to send you cows nor do we want to join your mafia family. Please post this in your status if you think folks need to keep their gaming to themselves.
Duckface is a disfiguring disease causing normally attractive faces to purse lips into an overblown pucker. Latent stages of this awful illness also cause extremely pale people to throw out gang signs the moment a camera appears in front off them. Please post this in your status if you feel friends shouldn’t let friends make duckface. (image via knowyourmeme.com)
3. The Anti-Status Request
If you make a Facebook status request, chances are, I won’t repost it. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad friend or I don’t care about your cause, it simply means I don’t choose to put your status in my status. Please repost if you agree not to repost status updates in your status.
4. Spelling Counts
Facebook isn’t Twitter and status updates aren’t text messages. Please post this in your status if you like to see whole words spelled out. (Image via WhiteWhine.com)
5. We Know What You’re Up To
It’s not a good idea to play games, Spotify, read the news and have all these updates posted to your Facebook when you’re friends with the boss and co-workers. You can’t complain about how hard you work when your Farmville updates tell us otherwise. Please repost this in your status if you can point to five people on Facebook who aren’t really working today. (image via lamebook.com)
Don’t get me wrong…
I’m not trying to be a Facebook Scrooge, far from it. It’s a great platform and there’s no reason it shouldn’t be used to raise awareness for a cause. But there are other ways to go about it besides having others repost your status update. For example, start a page or a group and invite other like-minded people to join you. If they want to want to join in, they will – and they’ll invite others to join in too. However, making it clear that I’m not a very good friend because I don’t post your status in my status is just lame.
What are some Facebook status requests you’d like to see?